December 2011
44 posts
the system has forgotten about jeremy. he shivers in the rude shelter of a concrete cull-de-sack, tightening the belt around his upper arm. this city doesn’t fucking care he thinks, sliding the sharp beak deep into his bulging vein. jeremy has been on heron since he was 12 years old.
girls whose itunes playlists are all video game osts are the new girls whose itunes playlists are all showtunes
girl i see u peepin my thaco
sweet encore at the bardcore show... got a tshirt...
Marilyn Manson + Tyler “the” Creator Hold Huge Contest To See Who Can Freak Out More Moms With Their Fucked Up Voices
1st camper: trigger warning
2d camper: okay
1st camper: once upon a time… there was a tumblr… in these very woods
2d camper: ooh
1st camper: and that tumblr belonged to a poster named… lord steve
2d camper: lord steve?
1st camper: lord steve
ghost: what up dicklogs im p. much the best dom in the socal area
1st + 2d camper: aaaah
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i am the Post Ghost
lifehack: go to a public place (bus is ideal) and scream so loudly that you “imprint” on the ovum of all the ladies within earshot… they won’t think much of it at the time (bad ears, maybe genetic) but when they go to their next gyno appt they will look at their eggs under a microscope (protip: this is what they do) and see your tiny face peering back up at them and they...
kim cardassian has set her phasers for "stunning"!
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really? no one? aw
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breakfastentialism
-my mouth is the only context in which this pancake has meaning
-the egg is food only in potentia; it remains for the individual to scramble or fry them as they see fit
put your hands in the air like you just don’t care that you’re being robbed
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people are still reblogging/”liking” that pizza thing
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happy christmas eve not christmas steve
well kids lord steve's computer just fucked its...
until my horrible inscrutable assbitch laptop un-cunts itself enough for me to post atcha please just pray for me as hard as your tiny flinty hearts will allow
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grimy teen band show up late for birthday party gig after accidentally inventing “which house” genre
im a huge fan of both abbreviations and freudian dream anal.
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sasha graey alien
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disoriented feminist incredibly angry at Mail Gays
son: gee, pa, why do the gays hate us so much?
father: that’s a good question, son. *puffs on pipe* in fact, we may never know
son: golly
lifehack: grunt and sweat and wriggle atop your...
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existentially adrift ferret can't explain what...
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rebellious teen owl gets in big trouble when...
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emotionally traumatized owl actually incapable of...
*morgan freeman turns to zac efron* "the planet's...
oh right i have this blog
PARENTAL SAFETY ALERT: are your children into...
new anonymous survey reveals 6 out of 10 high school students have gotten hooked on the new “swooping” craze. cool teens wait in high places and carry off weak and diseased freshmen in their powerful talons. all these “swoopers”, “falcons” or “swoopdudes” need, according to parental advisory groups, are huge wings easily assembled out of materials...
conclusive list of things that turn you gay:
-trying to get laid while the nyan cat song is playing in the background
-too much ice cream
-insufficiently repressed childhood memories of owning lots of dogs
-physical contact with mitt romney, no matter how brief
-earning your “red wings” by eating a whole tomato really fast while your friends cheer you on
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the most american pastime is watching large men of...
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"the blog days are over"
florence + the machine upon discovering the “book”
new years resolution
respond to every question addressed to me with several seconds of awkward stammering and then “I am nicki minaj.”
that awkward moment when rick perry just bursts...
true life story's of lord steve
i cannot see a big booty clappin without instantly thinking of an adorable seal delightedly clapping his flippers
“I See An Ass Clap And I Want To Feed It A Raw Fish” -tyler, the creator
harry potter vs twilight vs a polaroid of my dick...
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like an immaculately conceived child, my penis only enters women on rare and scientifically inexplicable occasions
elrond hubbard
cdiganon-deactivated20120226 asked: #what am i doing you're doing god's work lord steve
3 tags
my right fist is called “sobbing” and my left is “grammatically questionable pleas for mercy” and right now the only question is which you want first
let's put the S-E-X in reSpEXting each other's...
baby lets get naked and expose my daddy issues
heh, heh, you know who wouldn’t have tried to put this on condom on backwards? seriously, he’s a great guy, can’t wait for you to meet him