HOOTIN + HOLLERING HEADQUARTERS

toastradamus:

lordsteve:

incitatus-ebooks:

beesmygod:

evitron:

lordsteve:

redwall character 1: don’t badger me, you can’t weasel your way out of this one

redwall character 2: why i otter…

redwall character 3: hey guys it’s time for a feast

*every mouse, hedgehog, snake, badger and rat from every book comes in for a HUGE feast!*

redwall character 4: kill the lesser races. people who look different from us are inherently evil.

*redwall character 5 is silent for a while. he clutches a bloody scone. the unclean rat broodlings lay mangled at his feet. he thanks the Champion they will not grow to soil the forest or impregnate chaste mouse maidens or disturb the silence of the abby with their heathen jungle beats. finally:* burr oi’m scrumping tiffed for some vittles oi am better warsh op th’ dibbuns

redwall character 6: I say wot wot, this feast if jolly well good if I say so m’lud. JOLLY GOOD. < A hare has snuck into the feast, he eats fucking everything then engages a bystander in fisticuffs>

redwall character 7:… *a badger stands alone. he is the best and the biggest and wisest and handsomest and he’s like strong as heck and literally the wise Philosopher King of everything and he can see the future and make the best armor and weapons and god just look at him standing there all quiet and badass and ohgodimcummingggggg*